glumpy day 2

Profgrrrl is feeling kind of blue and I am too. Though not for the same reasons, obviously. I don't even know if I have "reasons." I'm just feeling kind of low and glumpy.

So I've started a reading menu of inspirational get-organized & get-focused books -- my standbys that have pulled me through many a rough patch in the past. I know that's one solution to the glumps, and I have several big organizing projects I want to do over the remainder of the break. I feel better when my space is clutter-free, but I've been struggling to manage my home office for a while, since it's a room that has to serve many different competing functions.

I also actually started doing some work today on a time-sensitive project that I need to finish in the next day or two. Not too interesting, but it has to get done.

So these are good steps. But somewhere around 10 pm I ran out of steam. But I'm not tired enough to go to bed, either.

I've been having a kind of "on hold" feeling, something that's pretty familiar to me during the holidays. I'm waiting for people I know to return from out of town, to return to their blogs, to return to ordinary routines. I want to phone some old friends this week to catch up after several months, but I feel like I need to wait a couple more days to make sure they're not in the midst of family things. A lot of people I know are going to MLA this year, and I'm not.

And the reflectiveness that the end of the calendar year brings isn't exactly cheering me up -- this year was pretty crappy for me, even though a couple of good events happened. Not as relentlessly traumatic as 2003, but not so great either.

I'm nervous about what might happen if I just allow myself to wallow in the glumps and sit on the couch all day watching movies. So I'm going through the motions: I went to the gym, I did some chores, I did some work. But I don't feel wholly present.

I just need to get my act together and shake this off.