if only they would take a note

Dear English Department,
Please excuse Professor Mel from her duties today. She hasn't slept properly in several days. She woke up with a sore elbow, the result of excessive computing last night combined with the 45-lb puppy sleeping on her arm for 2 early-morning hours. She would really rather be at home, as she usually is, on Fridays, relaxing and recuperating from the long week. She needs to go to yoga class instead of sitting on this Master's thesis defense. She would rather not even have to finish reading this particular Master's thesis, which although excellently researched and written, is so dull that it makes her want to draw graffitti in the margins rather than comments. She's not too cranky yet, but we fear that Extreme Grumpiness may soon ensue. It would probably be better for all persons involved if she were excused.

Sincerely,
The Early-Morning Whine Generator.