dear internet,

Why do you keep me up so late? I know, I know, it's not really late by my usual standards. But I'm trying to get up early these days. Why? Because I want to change my life. Because I feel all virtuous 'n shit when I get up at 6:30 or 7:00. Because I can be sure I'll make it to yoga even on days when I have meetings in the late afternoon and have dog duty during the summer's extended evening. Because I've done it before, and it worked out OK -- didn't I write my BA thesis when I used to get up to meet my then-gf for frickin breakfast before she taught at 8:00? Didn't I used to get up awfully early to walk in to campus at 7:15 when there'd be other foot commuters when I did my MA in Rather Dangerous Neighborhood? I know I've gotten up early in the past, and if I can just get into a daily routine, it'll be easy. Didn't I impress myself on TWO weekend mornings recently by going to 8:00 yoga?

But internet, it's your fault that my Change My Life program keeps hitting speed bumps. I was falling asleep two hours ago -- but could I actually just go to sleep. Noooooo. I had to wash face, brush teeth, and then I gave in to the Demon who whispered "just check email and a couple blogs for a minute -- you're awake from the face-scrubbing anyway." And here we are 1 hour 48 minutes later. I'm going to get up early tomorrow anyway, just to spite you, internet. Because maybe eventually I'll really be able to reset my internal clock. Or at least I'll be so tired that I just won't care anymore...