I didn't mean to be silent for so long. It was just one of those weeks. I certainly didn't mean for my last post before the silence to be so ominous-sounding. True, I was feeling cranky and paranoid when I wrote it -- but several friends pointed out two obvious things to me (regarding the colleague who might know my blog). One, I can always scrutinize my stats daily to see if I'm getting local hits. And two, even if she does know, it really shouldn't/wouldn't change things that much.

More the issue, I think, is that my paranoia about the blog is a symptom of how I've been feeling about this particular person lately. (paranoid, insecure, competitive, irritated)

I've mostly kept pretty clear boundaries with my colleagues -- some I'm friendlier with than others, of course -- regular chats at the office, even occasional lunches. In my first couple of years here I did more weekend/evening socializing with a few of the younger ones, but that has trailed off as we have all developed richer, more complicated lives. I like my colleagues -- but by and large, they aren't people I'd select as close personal friends. So keeping them in the "casual at-work friend" group has been fine. But I'm realizing that sometimes I don't even really feel like making that much effort. Especially if it's going to involve my Sunday afternoons.