why I'm not a fashion designer

Or maybe the title of this post should read, "I buy my clothes at a store designed for persons much younger than myself."

OK, let me back up. During the pre-MLA holiday sales, I picked up a comfortable and stylish pair of corduroy pants . I was really excited about these pants, because they are the first single-digit sized clothing I've owned since 1983. (This either means that vanity sizing is getting really extreme, or that the yoga is having external effects as well as internal ones.) Anyway, today when I cut the tags out of my new grey cords to wash them so I could wear them this weekend, I discovered that my delirium about the size had blinded me to one critical design flaw. The pocket lining is printed in a cheerful orange and yellow SPIDER pattern. Errrgghh! I mean, come on. Flowers. Or stripes. Or even plain old white pocket lining would be just fine. But who on earth wants to think about bugs inside their jeans?

Noting that the link I provided to the website even highlights the spider print as "extra flair" I realize that yet again I am Out of Touch with Young People Today and heading full on into befuddled middle age.