in favor of thinking

anti-nostalgic antediluvian

2009-01-11T13:40:00.002-06:00

Over the years, I've talked a lot about clearing out my files and boxes and closets. I've made many valiant efforts and been partially successful. But I still hung on to an awful lot of paper. Some of that was simply due to weariness -- never having the stamina to keep on clearing it all away. Some of it was due to haste -- each time I moved, I would think I would have the time to sort and

doing her part for the planet

2008-12-26T13:52:00.002-06:00

Over the past couple years, several companies have switched to biodegradable packing peanuts made from cornstarch derivatives. I don't know what else must be in them, but we found Old Girl happily snacking away on a few yesterday. Cornstarch itself doesn't seem like something that would be particularly scented or tasty, but dogs sure seem to like the peanuts. Perhaps that's a secret tactic for

library happiness

2008-12-23T15:27:00.002-06:00

I just came home from a trip to our neighborhood branch of the city public library -- I had a book on hold to pick up, and I took some time and browsed around and walked out with an armful of fiction and light nonfiction.I love, love, love that feeling of walking out from the library with anticipation for what's in those books. Even though I probably won't love or even finish all of them -- that

thoughts on time

2008-12-21T20:36:00.004-06:00

The thing I've wrestled with the most this semester is, not surprisingly, time. I feel like I've been struggling with time in various ways for years -- not my whole life, exactly, although a few key scenes from the past do stand out. Certainly by my mid20s I was frequently finding myself morassed in indecision when I had too much flexibility in my schedule, and feeling oppressed when I had too

the nothing response

2008-12-12T21:12:00.004-06:00

After yoga class this evening, I was getting dressed after taking a shower, and the changing room had pretty much emptied out. I was putting on my boots, and a young woman (20ish) said "Actually, ma'am" -- I glanced at her -- "Ma'am, there's a place to put your shoes out in the lobby, people don't wear them in here." Now, in our studio, the rule is no shoes in the yoga room itself, but you are

why I like my magazines on trees

2008-12-11T23:18:00.002-06:00

Even though I'm all for digital access to texts of all sorts, I'm realizing that I'm rather old-skool about magazines. I love reading magazines -- we subscribe to a couple weeklies (news/entertainment) and a couple monthlies (health/lifestyle). (All of which get recycled, and also distributed at the gym etc for re-reading.) And whenever I'm on a plane, I feel allowed to indulge in a handful

holidays

2008-12-10T21:56:00.004-06:00

Another Not Surprising Update from Research Leave: The holiday spirit is much more accessible when you're on leave, rather than immersed in grading. I spent the afternoon actually baking today, which then gives me simple holiday gifts for the few outer-circle people I usually give presents to. Recognizing and renouncing my perfectionism, which has prevented me from sending out the cute

hibernation

2008-12-05T15:46:00.003-06:00

It's cold today. Really cold. And because of some peculiarities with our old house, it's cold inside, too. In the winter, we close off the outer rooms of the house, only making brief foraging trips into them for particular items. We live in the kitchen, the living room, and the bedroom, camping out with our laptops and building little work stations wherever it feels warmest. (In warmer

a booster rocket day

2008-12-03T23:46:00.002-06:00

Michael Neill has a wonderful discussion somewhere in one of his books (and I've heard him talk about it on his radio show) about inertia. You know, an object in motion tends to stay in motion; and one that is at rest tends to stay at rest. (And I'm sure if there were a physicist in the audience, she'd have some much more complicated revision of that "law" we got told in school, but I'm going

leave: like a shower for the psyche

2008-12-02T17:38:00.003-06:00

Last spring, when I was anticipating going on leave for Fall 08, I think I told several people that I'd be sure to be meeting them for lunches and coffees, since I'd probably be feeling kind of squirrelly just working on my project, not having regular social interactions. Somewhat surprisingly, that really hasn't been the case. I think I was feeling so overextended that I needed these 7 months

hotel life

2008-11-16T06:40:00.003-06:00

So I'm staying in a quite nice hotel for a few days for this conference. There are a lot of things about how hotels are run that are of course excessive (new towels every day) but seem only like an exaggeration of my regular life -- I change the towels in our house every few days, so fresh ones every day is just stepping up the speed or scale of domestic practice. (And unfortunately this is

fantasy academic camp

2008-11-13T20:57:00.002-06:00

I read a personal essay recently in some magazine or other -- probably one of those Newsweek "My Turn" columns, or something similar -- in which the writer talked about his experience attending baseball camp for adults. I don't remember the exact name of the camp, and I don't follow baseball -- but what I gathered from it was that a bunch of middle-aged men go to camp to be coached by retired

Today

2008-11-05T10:55:00.004-06:00

Today, I am willing to give up my cynicism about politics. Today, I am willing to give up my defeatism learned from years of living in states that don't match my values. Today, I am willing to believe in possibility. Today, I am feeling hopeful about this nation in a way I have never felt before.

my voting story

2008-11-04T15:42:00.002-06:00

Voting today was both exciting (since this election is potentially such a history-maker) and strangely anti-climactic: so many people had early voted (I know people who waited for over 2 hours last week to vote early) that there were no lines at all. Granted, GF and I did walk over to our polling place at about 2 in the afternoon; it looked bustling enough at 8:15 this morning when I walked the

happy november

2008-11-01T18:52:00.002-05:00

What's it like to be on a semester of research leave?it's awesome. I kind of feel bad saying that when everyone else is in the throes of mid-term grading, when people I know are in crappy jobs, and when there are much more serious problems in the world than the textual and historical questions I've been spending my time on. But it is true. And no one ever explained this to me before. I have two

73 minutes

2008-09-30T15:44:00.002-05:00

There are 73 more minutes left to the time band in which I was told to expect the washing machine repairperson to arrive.. . .sigh. This is what my afternoon has been like so far: sit down to work. Our younger dog barks furiously, I go to the front of the house to see if it's the repair person. No, it's the spaniel across the street who's causing our dog to bark. I return to my chair. Work

follow up

2008-09-22T15:50:00.002-05:00

Well, after writing a carefully casual email, we have a plan to meet the afore-mentioned couple at a neighborhood coffeehouse/bar type place later this week. We'll see how it goes. And I didn't mean to start a with kids/without kids debate in the comments -- I can't possibly know what someone else's experience is like. From this side of things, I can say that it's often hard to become friends

the couple friend game

2008-09-19T19:27:00.004-05:00

I have probably said this before, but I'm not so good at making friends. The ones I have, I hang onto, and treasure dearly. But the small talk, getting-to-know-you part is hard. Even harder, though, is finding suitable subjects for such a small talk experiment. Even more challenging has been the project of finding some couples for GF and I to be couple-friends with. Usually, one of us knows

not really quite so exciting

2008-09-11T21:19:00.002-05:00

I recently read Rachel Pastan's novel Lady of the Snakes, which was enjoyable enough for a Possession wanna-be. I did think Pastan's awareness of the complicated lives of young academic women was noteworthy (although some of the breeding details I thought were heavy handed -- really, does "linea negra" have to show up not just once but twice in the book as the main signifier of pregnancy? that

if I were Miss Manners

2008-09-04T18:31:00.002-05:00

If I were an etiquette authority, these are the two sentences I would proclaim banned from polite conversation:(1) "You look tired." Because really, if you don't feel tired, you don't want to hear this. And if you do feel tired, you don't need the reminder. Or the news that you are broadcasting your inner climate to the world.(2) "You look like your mother/father." Because there's at least a

damn, September.

2008-09-02T23:46:00.002-05:00

How did it get to be September already?I know, this is hardly an original complaint, or a concern unique to little old me. And in fact at the beginning of summer I even predicted that I would feel some anxiety at the end of it. And look, I do.I don't know any academic who doesn't close out the summer with at least some tinge of regret for pages unwritten or books unread. For me, since summer

from poetry to poop in 150 words

2008-08-25T11:16:00.005-05:00

Evolutionary biologists explain that the large frontal cortex in humans, which gives us an exceptional capacity for pattern matching, was originally a survival mechanism. If we're not stronger or faster than our predators, then we need to be able to interpret their signals and make smart choices. Our brains are designed to read meaning into our environment -- whether we're reading gestures, words

laugh when you can

2008-08-22T12:19:00.003-05:00

The past couple of weeks with Elderly Parent have been kind of difficult. I finally got her to understand that I wanted her to see a neurologist -- and why (for an Alzheimer's/dementia evaluation). Since then, she's been understandably agitated, angry, sad, and afraid. But given EP's upbringing and personality, her response has been to cut herself off from her friends and to demonize me. She

faculty leaves

2008-08-16T09:11:00.002-05:00

This story in yesterday's Chronicle, about how the University of Georgia has suddenly canceled some faculty research leaves for this Fall semester, has really been on my mind. First, of course, is my sense of sympathetic outrage on the behalf of those faculty who thought they were on leave this semester and now suddenly have been told that they will be teaching next week. And on behalf of the

relative femininity

2008-08-14T19:38:00.004-05:00

Dr Crazy's been writing some thoughtful posts recently about (among other things) the genre of personal academic blogging and gender normativity. The concept of the "personal" is inevitably coded differently for men and women -- and often assumed to have a connection to the domestic and/or feminine. I'd think it's quite safe to say that Dr C experiences her gender identity (whether on her blog

the google rabbit hole, with a twist

2008-08-11T15:56:00.002-05:00

Over the past couple weeks I've fallen down what I think of as the online rabbit hole a few times -- you, know, the process by which you think of an old acquaintance and google them and then look up somebody else, and then, and then...it's 45 minutes later and you've done nothing except experience a little Schadenfreude and a little envy. I haven't yet figured out what this process is a symptom

the ideal and the real

2008-08-08T20:04:00.004-05:00

I have this fantasy picture in my head of what working at the office should be like. I guess it's an amalgam of several real faculty offices I've known -- none of them mine -- seasoned with a few fictional or film versions. Key elements include a window (preferably with trees or hipster urban cityscape outside), bookshelves, a large desk surface, a comfy reading chair, elegant lamps for light,

middleagey

2008-08-03T20:40:00.005-05:00

I picked up a novel last week at the library and turned, as I often do, to the back flap to learn about the author, whose name was unfamiliar to me. This was The Story of Forgetting by Stefan Merrill Block, which I read and liked (and although it may appear this blog is quickly sliding down into some morass of Alzheimer's-only commentary, it was pure coincidence that I pulled the book off the

nonchalance

2008-07-30T22:18:00.004-05:00

Phone call this evening with Elderly Parent:EP: My leg is doing so much better. I went on a big long walk.Mel: A big long walk? what does that mean exactly? (EP had a fracture and months of rehab; now walks with a cane when outside her house, doesn't use it in her house)EP: oh I just went round and round. I went to see my neighbor Alice down the street. And then I went the wrong way and

containment

2008-07-27T21:43:00.003-05:00

One of the biggest challenges I've been facing over the past several months -- and to a lesser extent the past year, year and a half -- is Elderly Parent's declining cognitive state. EP doesn't admit that she's lost any cognitive function, however, so she's not yet receiving any medical treatment or evaluation for Alzheimer's. She had a fall and some other health issues this spring and I got

the next door pinata

2008-07-26T20:27:00.002-05:00

I grew up in the 70s -- when if something could possibly be made into a craft project, we did it as a craft project in school: macrame, melted crayon art, shrinky dinks. And pinatas. I vividly remember several occasions when we had to stick gloppy gluey newspaper onto a balloon. Because this was the Midwest, that's all I knew about pinatas until much later in life.There are a couple of stores

no more admin for me

2008-07-25T19:01:00.004-05:00

Undine pointed me to the latest not-surprising news about women and administrative service. One of the studies cited in the IHE article focused on the the three years immediately following tenure -- in which 16 of 20 women found themselves with "significant increases in their service obligations" but only 5 of 20 men did. I haven't read the actual study to know how the samples were selected (

wolf circling

2008-07-22T15:48:00.002-05:00

The other day, I was listening to an interview with a naturalist who was talking about hiking alone and coming across a mountain lion. Apparently, the idea is if you should ever find yourself in such a situation, to try as much as you can to not seem like prey. Stand tall, don't seem weak, hope you're not exuding the stink of fear. I don't have to worry about predatory cats since I am

blog sticker

2008-07-21T21:32:00.003-05:00

I was sorting through some plastic storage bins of old stuff yesterday, and was happy to find a couple of sheets of stickers that I'd forgotten about-- neon smiley faces, and some animals. You see, over the past few months I've been tracking various things on my wall calendar with stickers: different kinds of workouts, my daily household chores, writing time, and other self-improvement measures.

from my kitchen

2008-07-15T20:19:00.005-05:00

Thanks to all who encouraged me in getting an electric kettle -- when we went to the store the choice was obvious, since there was a kettle on the shelf which looked like it really belonged next to our aforementioned toaster, even though they are made by different firms. (There is actually a slight difference in their color but close enough for happiness in the kitchen.) I've been drinking more

previous self

2008-07-13T15:56:00.004-05:00

There's a great line in the first season of How I Met Your Mother (which we just recently discovered and watched on DVD) when Marshall is confronted with a tough decision and he says "I'm going to let future Marshall deal with that." GF and I have taken that up as a strategy on occasion and it's really helpful -- not, I'm going to keep on worrying over this choice ineffectually for the next

Victorian Poetry Pop Culture Watch

2008-07-11T16:42:00.002-05:00

In Hellboy 2, not only is the first stanza of section 50 of In Memoriam quoted twice, there's also a very nice shot of a late-19th century edition of Selected Poems (judging from the decorated cloth binding) that plays a briefly important role...(At least, my aging brain thinks it was section 50; I haven't found any confirmation on the internets and GF wasn't paying as much attention to the

office hours

2008-07-10T16:21:00.002-05:00

This Chronicle article describes how administrators at Kean University (a public university in New Jersey) have put in place new regulations that will (1) alter class schedules to include Fridays and Saturdays, including changing existing 2-day class blocks into 3-day blocks; and (2) require faculty to hold 2-hour office hour sessions 4 days a week. All of these changes are being made ostensibly

netflix profiles are safe!

2008-07-09T15:40:00.003-05:00

About a month ago Netflix announced that it was going to dismantle the Profiles feature in September. But enough users raised enough of a fuss that they are going to retain Profiles. Yay!! The Profiles feature lets you have more than one queue within the same subscription account. This is crucial for our household, since GF watches cartoons and ultra-violent Korean horror movies and I'm partial

home again

2008-07-07T20:17:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a relatively uneventful, if long, travel day. At least it began with an awesome vegan English breakfast plate. I was really impressed at the level of vegan awareness in Toronto -- we ate out at several places that were all vegan, or all vegetarian, or at least had large sections of the menu that were vegan friendly. I really appreciate it even more when the restaurant might not

teakettles

2008-07-05T08:20:00.003-05:00

Traveling opens up my perceptions -- as well as enjoying and appreciating a new place, I usually begin to see my own city, my own routines, and my own habits differently. I'm in the midst of a larger geographic-existential reflection which once digested I'll write about -- but more superficially, I'm finding myself repeatedly thinking about teakettles. My friend that I'm visiting uses an

travel yoga

2008-07-02T17:18:00.002-05:00

Today was the first time I got to visit a Bikram studio in another city from my own -- most of my travels in recent years have been either to places without Bikram schools (like where Elderly Parent lives) or for conferences where it feels too hectic to figure out how to fit a class into the day.Toronto has many Bikram studios, a surprising number really, for a city of this size. Most of them

test2

2008-07-02T01:08:00.001-05:00

testing...

happy canada day

2008-07-01T18:27:00.003-05:00

I'm visiting an old friend of mine in Toronto this week. It's the first trip I've taken in about three years that's just for fun - - not for a conference, and not for family stuff either. (I've done far too much of the latter in recent months.) I'll never be a big traveler -- after all, I've finally created a home life and home space that I really love -- why would I want to leave? But it is

goin' back

2008-06-28T23:21:00.002-05:00

Well, the "new" template I selected wouldn't play nice with haloscan commenting. So it's back to my old look for now. I know I'm about a year late to all the reformatting business -- and since most everyone uses a feed reader, the design hardly matters. It was just the allure of a new clear surface.

construction

2008-06-26T08:46:00.000-05:00

still fixing comments on the new template etc.

re: turn

2008-06-26T07:56:00.002-05:00

The cyclical rhythms of academic life have a reassuring predictability, even though when I'm in the midst of them I sometimes lose sight of it -- it might feel like the crappiest week ever until you realise it's just the 9th week of the fall term. Semesters begin, muddle, and end. There are at least three new fresh starts in every year, for which I am ever grateful. And I've now been doing this

under construction

2008-06-08T21:56:00.000-05:00

pardon the mess.

movie roundup

2007-12-27T09:16:00.000-06:00

Considering that most of I am Legend consists of watching one guy go through his daily survival routine, it's fairly engaging. I like most apocalypse, survival, and zombie movies -- and this one combines all three. What I found irritating or inconsistent might be problems in the original novel, but I'm guessing they were somebody's bright idea during the adaptation process: the whole Bob

gifting

2007-12-22T13:13:00.000-06:00

Now, I'm all for transparency as a general rule: clarity in communication, in organizational processes, and in storage bins around my house. But over the past few days, as I completed some holiday elf-like tasks, I was surprised by the number of f2f retailers who were handing my purchases to me in a clear plastic bag. (A heavyweight, handsomely designed bag -- but clear nonetheless.) And then

25 days!

2007-12-20T23:33:00.000-06:00

Finally, at about 5:48 this evening, I put this fall semester to bed. My grades were submitted a few days ago, but there were administrative reports to complete, letters of recommendation to mail, and various other odds and ends to deal with. So now I have 25 days stretching ahead of me. Realistically, that's more like 19 before I'll have to go in and put on the administrator's hat again. But

why so stupid

2007-12-17T22:39:00.000-06:00

I've been visiting my mother for a few days -- originally scheduled to be after the semester was all over, but this year it wound up being during the bitter bitter end of things. Combine that with my usual feeling lobotomized when I'm in this place and it's been really hard to imagine writing anything. The combination of stressful family circumstances, bad internet connectivity, and piles upon

down to the essentials

2007-12-11T19:51:00.000-06:00

eat: garlic vitamin C echinacea Congest-Awaysniff: eucalyptus essential oildrink: tea water soupgrade: papersrepeat, repeat, repeat.

tipping point

2007-12-10T12:42:00.000-06:00

Apparently, 12:30 in the afternoon is the tipping point beyond which it seems futile to drive into the office for the day. I'd planned to work at home this morning finishing up the proofs, then go into the office to deal with administrative stuff and power through some grading. But now it just seems like I might as well stay home. I can, after all, do the grading from the couch. Should I flee

timing

2007-12-07T23:18:00.000-06:00

How is it that during the same 10-day span in which I must sit in grading jail, write two end of term administrative reports (with spreadsheet appendices), assist weeping students with graduation problems, and attend 2 and possibly 3 department holiday parties, that I receive first-stage page proofs and a page of editor queries for a forthcoming article? Proofs and queries that must, of course,

Juno

2007-12-06T23:35:00.000-06:00

Ellen Paige (who I loved in Hard Candy) is perfectly cast in this movie: alternately snarky and sad, her teenage heroine navigates relationships and identity formation with an appealing down to earth sense of humor. I only wish the film was as appealing to me. It's certainly not everything the media hype about its writer Diablo Cody would have you believe. It's not the feminist (or feminine) "

The Formation of Scholars

2007-12-04T14:56:00.000-06:00

There's an article in today's Chronicle about the forthcoming Carnegie Foundation report entitled The Formation of Scholars, which argues that PhD-granting departments and programs aren't adequately preparing doctoral students for the challenges of conducting top-quality research today. The article doesn't explain how preparation or education in research was measured, across many different

special steps

2007-12-03T23:36:00.000-06:00

Tonight I went to get The Boss some steps, because she's starting to slow down from arthritis. She's 14, and has been very athletic all her life. So she's kind of depressed about now having to go on the slow dog walks with Old Girl. Meanwhile, Speedy is alternately excited about having her own (fast and long) walks, and nervous about walking with only a human for company. So having her own

December

2007-12-02T22:21:00.000-06:00

Because December is full of possibility!

Fred Claus

2007-12-02T21:53:00.000-06:00

Vince Vaughn and 7 year olds don't usually go very well together, so I was a bit skeptical of the parenting skills of the women sitting with 15 children in the row behind us at the movie theater. Sure, we were going to see a holiday movie, but still, it was rated PG13 and these kids were awfully young. But I enjoyed the film, for what it was, and I suspect the kids did too. It's skillfully

rboc

2007-11-04T23:46:00.000-06:00

If only I had a keyboard invisibly and magically attached to my mind, I could show you all those posts I wrote this past week, invariably while showering, driving, or sitting in meetings. Now, even unwritten as they are, they seem stale and dried out. But considering that it's midnight (or later if you're still on "the time that it was before it changed") I don't have much in the way of freshly

at home

2007-10-29T15:01:00.000-05:00

Today is one of those wonderful days, too rare indeed, when I can stay home to work rather than go in to the office wearing my Administrator's hat. So I've been catching up on the 50 million small tasks that have been piling up: ordering books for next term, posting stuff to the department's website, writing up various memos, grading, writing some new assignments, etc etc. And given that I am

if only we had a fall break

2007-10-20T16:03:00.000-05:00

Sometime this morning I actually had a minute to think, "I wonder what's been going on in the blogworld." And then it was six hours later before I got to poke around a little bit and just check that my team of usual suspects are still all there. The past week was Midterm Extreme, with no spare minutes. Made more so of course because I was playing catchup (on work, on teaching, on sleep) since

conference happiness

2007-10-12T07:56:00.001-05:00

Since I'm basically a very shy person, it's really quite strange that I enjoy going to academic conferences. Not every conference, to be sure, but over the years I've figured out which ones are more useful for me, both in terms of networking and for actual intellectual content. Right now I'm at my favorite conference, where I get to hang out with conference buddies and talk to the 3 or 4 people

mysteries of my process

2007-10-02T01:15:00.000-05:00

Why is it that, faced with an upcoming trip to Big Conference for which I should probably expand or revise my paper, I have spent the last two days thinking about and looking for new shoes?Why is it that although I space out the small writing assignments so as to distribute the grading effort throughout the week and month, I still wind up with a huge pile to mark all at once?Why is it that after

tv week

2007-09-26T10:50:00.001-05:00

I have to confess to feeling awfully excited about the television season opening this week. For the first. time. ever. we can watch all the networks! I'm still delighted about our decision last winter to get basic dish service. It sure beats the rabbit ears, which in our neighborhood only got us two stations. Plus the DVR means we build up a nice reserve of shows we want to watch. I always

smarter not harder

2007-09-25T06:23:00.000-05:00

The phrase "work smarter not harder" isn't mine, of course -- and when I mentioned it last week, it was resonating because I'd heard it recently on a podcast by Cheryl Richardson, a life coach whose books I've read for years. She's not the only person I've heard say such things, or use that phrase even; but for whatever reason, I paid more attention last week and I've been mulling it over

enhanced nourishment

2007-09-22T17:58:00.000-05:00

There's a pretty common metaphor in psychological/self-help circles that labels certain people as "toxic" or "unhealthy," which is very helpful in understanding why you're left feeling awful after dealing with those people. Since nutrition and good health are important to me in the physical realm, I've been thinking a lot about how similar metaphors might be extended. There are people and foods

looking at the JIL

2007-09-18T07:06:00.000-05:00

Flavia has a good post about looking at the MLA job list from the perspective of already having a job you like or mostly like. I too look at the list -- it's a good way to learn about certain patterns in my subfield (which due to curricular, ideological, or funding issues can often get paired with others, or configured in certain ways). It's a good reminder of all the things I really do like

awwww

2007-09-14T06:35:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I saw this story about the baby macaque who loves a bird. Like the well-circulated pictures and stories of the baby squirrel raised by a dog, the hippo who's friends with a tortoise, the pig acting as wet nurse for tiger cubs, or the classic stories of Koko and her kittens, these images just pull at my "awww" response. (A lot of the reporting on such stories recognizes the

presbyopia

2007-09-12T22:06:00.000-05:00

I got my first pair of glasses in the fifth grade, starting off my years of Extreme Ugliness. (I got braces the same year, and although my mother let me pierce my ears as consolation, it didn't do much for my looks.) But the glasses did make a huge difference in my myopic life -- I still remember the shock at putting them on for the first time and seeing threads in the carpet, and individual

academics and money

2007-09-11T19:17:00.000-05:00

Somehow I wound up reading New Kid's post about house envy just before reading an article in the Chronicle about the strategies faculty are using to get by financially in areas with higher costs of living. (Unfortunately I think the article is in the subscriber-only section of the CHE -- part of some new special section called The Academic Life. I haven't looked at my print copy yet to know

beginnings

2007-09-10T15:29:00.000-05:00

I had a good conversation last week with an old friend about the eerie deja vu of returning to the department hallways and routines after the summer. It's a strange mixture of welcoming the familiar-- getting into the rhythms of teaching, seeing former students, seeing colleagues again-- but tinged with faint notes of familiar despair: the first department meeting, the low morale in the main

unplugged

2007-05-15T20:55:00.000-05:00

unplugged. at least for now.

grading: side effects may include...

2007-05-10T10:41:00.000-05:00

OK, I realize I'm basically the only person in the blogosphere who is STILL grading. And it won't even end today when I finish this stack of papers: I give a final exam this afternoon so I'll have that fun to look forward to tomorrow. But exams don't require comments, so it's a much faster process.And of course I procrastinated on reading the papers, blah, blah, blah, so I'm up against a

kilter

2007-05-07T23:30:00.000-05:00

Kilter: Good condition, order; state of health or spirits. Used in the phrases out of kelter, in (good, high) kelter, to get into kelter. [OED] [U.S. form kilter]But when you look more closely at the examples

done! or at least semi-done!

2007-04-27T13:19:00.000-05:00

I'm done with teaching for the spring term, and I am so happy! This weekend is a nice little happy transition type weekend -- final papers don't roll in until Monday, and then we have this tremendously long exam period -- with my final exams unfortunately not scheduled until the last day, which would be the 10th. So I have two weeks of grading and meetings and graduation hoopla coming up, but I

First Snow

2007-04-21T21:09:00.000-05:00

The most interesting moments in First Snow are fleeting ones -- the glint in J.K. Simmons's eye, and the expressions on William Fichtner's face as his character falls into the little brother wannabe role with Guy Pearce's overladen badass character. At its best it's a movie about men's relationships with other men: Pearce tells Fichtner "I love you" twice and his old buddy Shea Whigham kisses

preparedness

2007-04-13T10:48:00.000-05:00

Last night at the keynote speech for the conference I'm currently attending, I was sitting behind a guy whose pen started to leak ink all over his hand. I was so impressed with his calm reaction as he put down the leaking pen, reached into his book bag, and pulled out a moist towlette packet and cleaned his fingers. Then he got another pen and continued taking notes. Talk about being prepared.

what I got out of last week

2007-04-07T23:51:00.000-05:00

A new model of generational differences in my dept. Forget theoretical modes, or graduate mentors. Here's the distinction that really matters. When searching in the online registration system for information about next year's courses (like time, day, room number) there are those faculty members who see a link around their section number and know (or try) to click on it to get the screenful of

post conference recovery

2007-04-02T18:36:00.000-05:00

Well, despite my grumbling last week, our little regional conference was a tremendous success -- all the invited guests were charming and smart, the panels came together well, and everyone had a good time. It's odd that I enjoy conferences (large or small) as much as I do, given that I'm fairly anti-social and not an academic superstar or anything. But being around people who work on things I'm

how did I get here?

2007-03-30T11:45:00.000-05:00

So it goes something like this. Someone has an idea, maybe even a good idea, for bringing in a guest speaker. They talk to someone else about finding some funding. The funding has some conditions attached, a particular constituency who needs to be addressed, maybe a particular approach as well. So then one guest speaker turns into two. Then someone talks to someone from another department

dream analysis

2007-03-29T16:02:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a dream that I was walking in a large park in my city. And then a wild animal (which happened to be the same one that is my university's mascot) approached. Because it was huge and dangerous, I stood very still hoping that it would pass by. Instead it peed on me.Now, we have been lately watching the Discovery Channel's impressive new Planet Earth series, which includes

sweetness

2007-03-26T18:15:00.000-05:00

Like people, individual dogs each have their own particular scent, even when they're clean. Our youngest, aka Speedy, actually has two: when her hair gets wet, from rain or from a bath, it gives off an odd, acrid smell that always reminds me of the old-fashioned beauty parlor my mom used to go to and to which I would be dragged along as a child -- full of horrendous chemicals used to pouf up the

judgment

2007-03-23T22:25:00.000-05:00

One of my administrative duties this year involves sitting on the committee that reviews the annual faculty reports submitted by each member of my department. Service on this committee rotates through the department to prevent one clique from having all the power, and of course the Chair can override the decisions of the committee, since he's the one who actually assigns all the merit rankings.

teaching eve

2007-03-19T22:13:00.000-05:00

Well, among the many wonderful things I did do over spring break, prepping my teaching for this week wasn't one of them. I like my students this term, but my focus really isn't with them. I'm worried that I might even have forgotten some of their names over the past 9 days. I got a few emails from students during the break, asking questions about their next assignment -- each time it was sort

time

2007-03-14T10:57:00.000-05:00

I suppose it's because I'm on spring break this week, but I've been having a hard time adjusting to this year's early time change. I spent my childhood in one of the states that doesn't do time changing, so the whole concept of it has always seemed kind of alien to me, though I've been living in all those ordinary states that flip their clocks since I was 17. Especially calling it "daylight

spring break!

2007-03-09T13:38:00.000-06:00

Spring Break List -- Fantasy Editionwrite three conference papersrevise article that came back from editor with commentsfinish massive home workspace reorganization project begun over winter break and then put on hold during the semester (filing & weeding of papers, Endnote updating, furniture moving, general cleanup)read and prep the 2nd half of the book I'm currently teachingread the next book

flu girl watches oscars, health improves

2007-02-26T17:14:00.000-06:00

I think I finally turned a corner with the flu (which I keep typing, inexplicably, as "flue") at about 1:45 this afternoon. Last night I sent off a message to my Chair saying I was sick and wouldn't be able to make it to today's horrible meeting -- so I had all of today already clear for getting better. This morning I could do nothing but lie flat in bed, half sleeping. But then something

101.6

2007-02-24T21:44:00.000-06:00

That's the number of the day, which has remained fairly consistent. But never dropping lower than that. Since my normal temp is about a full degree lower than "average" that's still a considerable fever. And I am So. Over. Being. Sick. Yes, universe, I am grateful that this is a virus that has not involved the expulsion of gross bodily fluids. I am grateful that I came down with it just before

fevered teaching

2007-02-23T15:27:00.000-06:00

I'm home sick today, having been hit by one of the many evil viruses making the rounds at work. My fever is hovering between 102 and 103, so I'm really not trying to do anything more strenuous than change channels on the tv and skim a few blogs. I started feeling the onset Wednesday afternoon, but I didn't have any fever then, and kept trying to convince myself that it was just tiredness or

out of the rabbit hole

2007-02-19T23:55:00.000-06:00

I'm back! My knees are scraped and my fingernails are dirty from clambering out of the perversely magical rabbit hole that dropped me into WritingWorld, and my pinafore got a bit mussed too, but I'm all back to my own true size and promise I won't ever eat any of the mushrooms again . . .I just sent off Big Article! and am deliriously strolling around the internet, which has been Off Limits

10 things I could have blogged about

2007-02-13T16:29:00.000-06:00

how enjoyable my teaching is this semesterhow morale in my department is plummetinghow exhausting job searches are from the department's perspectivehow I haven't been sleeping enoughhow I am writing something for a deadline and am feeling anxioushow my career is all just a series of accidents and I'm really a fraudhow crappy the weather has been this winterhow Speedy tore her dewclaw and is now

if I were the Emperor of everything

2007-01-31T23:02:00.000-06:00

Three simple rules that would have improved this week, were they followed:(1) No meeting should be three hours long. Ever. (2) Faculty who don't come to any of the job talks, job candidate interviews, or faculty get-togethers should not be allowed to pontificate in the hiring meeting about candidates they never met. They shouldn't be allowed to vote either.(3) Mel should get 8 hours of sleep

last week's movies

2007-01-27T15:33:00.000-06:00

We had to buy a new coffee pot earlier this week, and it wasn't until today that we figured out that its "cups" are calibrated differently than our old coffee maker. So we weren't using quite enough coffee each morning (we knew it tasted a little off, but hadn't worked out the math appropriately). So today, I feel so much smarter, and happier. It's all about getting the perfect chemical

what not to write

2007-01-25T09:02:00.000-06:00

One of my wise friends used to offer a sound piece of advice, usually in the context of relationships, but I think it works for the teaching context too. Basically, she said, you have to pick your battles. If something your mate does *really* bothers you -- if it's going to be a major annoyance every time you see the toothpaste tube uncapped, then you should say something about it right away.

week 2

2007-01-23T16:10:00.000-06:00

Week 2 of the semester is, in my mind, the "real" week 1, because chronological week 1 is usually so chaotic with students dropping and adding courses, administrative snafus, bookstore problems, and copier breakdowns. Last week was made extra-ridiculous by the crappy winter weather, which not only makes me crabby but adds to the pile of student excuses. I was feeling kind of jumbled and out of

great stuff

2007-01-17T16:05:00.000-06:00

A list of small consumer items I'm currently thankful for:Merlin (who I read for his productivity insights even though I'm not a Mac person (nor a programmer) was right. This really IS the best timer ever.I've been using timers for years while grading, to keep me on track, and over the past few months I've been doing a lot of timed writing sessions, as well as a few "dashes" for really tedious

Where have I been

2007-01-14T00:26:00.000-06:00

this week? I've been messing with the space-time continuum, trying to put a postmodern fluid subjectivity into praxis, AND emulating certain well-known reclusive millionaires.Or, in other words: it's the pre-beginning of the semester, GF has been sick with horrible flu/virus so I have been acting like two people, and I've been washing my hands a lot. The whole two-people in one body thing?

lightening my load

2007-01-07T19:03:00.000-06:00

Luckily, I have one more week before classes start. I have to go into the office later this week, but I am putting it off as long as possible. I have a huge pile of office & teaching related things to do. But first I have to finish writing an article and reorganize my study. I've spent the last two days recycling or shredding tremendous piles of paper, and filing other piles. There's an